Bethany Spike

It was black with little glints of gold. We all knew where we were going. We said our final words and it was done.

I was never afraid of anything a normal child was; not heights, nor spiders, snakes or the dark. I wasn’t into dolls, pretty dresses or fairies- all that make-believe, pretend stuff. Pa had always said “There is nothing to fear when God is with you” until he left me for another life, another world, another time. Then it was just me

and Ma.

We did everything together, in between her job and school. I became very independent and solitary, disappearing from society. School was a bore, with the only exciting thing being the drills that were repeated daily. It was kind of ironic, we were excited about something that could lead to us fading away. All feeling of

safety was gone, vanished, consumed, unless I was in her arms. She was my blanket, my barricade. Until she left me too.

Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude. I knew I could have done nothing about it, it was obviously God’s fate for me to be lonely. I would often pretend to be the Lone Ranger- the only person I could relate to. We were both isolated. No one understood anything- not even I did. What was the point in trying when you only fail, time and time again. A butterfly flew passed my window- a Holly Blue to be precise. I became quite an expert on this creature- it was the only way to pass time. My favourite one was a Marbled White. I always dreamed about being one of them. Then I could l fly away and be free from the cage I’m trapped in.

They said it was only temporary, that we wouldn’t be there for long. I’ve lost count of the days. I have no concept of time at all. We were being given less and less as time went on. More people flooded in once in a week, coming in their thousands. I’m surprised they had enough room for us all. I gazed into the hazy distance, another Holly Blue fluttered passed my eye. I followed it until it was in the

distance.

It was as if the butterfly was signalling hope.

Now gone.

I was slowly disintegrating, first my body, now my mind.